For a refreshing change, how about a list of insults? I have had a few of these directed at me. Though they made me laugh it appeared that laughter was not the expected response.
- You’re impossible to underestimate.
- You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die.
- Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it.
- I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
- You are the stone in the shoes of humanity.
- If you were any dumber, someone would have to water you twice a week.
- You’re about as important as a white crayon.
- As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
- You started at the bottom and it’s been downhill ever since.
- Mirrors can’t talk. Luckily for you, they can’t laugh either.
- I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
- I have nothing but respect for you — and not much of that.
- In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
- You have a mind like the rings of Saturn: A million miles wide and an inch deep.
- She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Excellent but Shakespeare’s are better! Really crude but now no one understands them. Perhaps they didn’t then? Quite amusing when someone doesn’t recognise an insult!
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Crude, yes, but unfortunately over the head of most people. I enjoyed reading Shakespeare – his insights into the nature of people was impressive.
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Agree, and that’s why we could have Shakespeare uncensored in schools! But in his own time am sure made for great laughs.
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These are all quite funny, if you image Grouch Marx saying them… 😁
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A few of those are Groucho’s – he was the best. I used number 1 on someone once – he took it as a compliment. Maybe I should go pro…
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